Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan just gave one of the heaviest interviews of his career on Why Not Now? With Amy Jo Martin. Corgan reveals he was extremely close to suicide in the early ‘90s and how the Pumpkins classic “Today” was the first step in getting him out of that dark place.
It was May 1991 and The Smashing Pumpkins released Gish. Then Nirvana hit with Nevermind and Pearl Jam’s Ten came out later that year.
“Within a short span of time I went from thinking I was very successful within my given field, to all the rules had changed in my given field,” Corgan explained. “Everything I had built myself up to be and do was no longer as relevant as it needed to be. I went into a very strange depression because I felt like something had been not taken, but the change made me feel kind of inadequate in a way I wasn’t prepared for.”
Corgan continued, “I reached this kind of morning in my life where it was like I’m either going to jump out a window, or I was going to change my life... I’d already been through all those stages, I was giving away stuff and planning my eulogy, and all sorts of weird self-absorbed things.”
Corgan brought listeners back to a moment of clarity which may have saved his life. “I woke up one morning, and I kind of stared out the window and thought, ‘Okay, well, if you’re not going to jump out the window, you better do whatever it is you need to do,’” the musician described. “That morning I wrote, I think it was the song ‘Today,’